Mommy | Lifestyle

Let me tell you guys just how busy we have been – so busy that I had to keep Max home one day this week to squeeze pumpkin picking into our schedule. We have three parties this weekend and there was just no other way to swing it. Now let me tell you how luck was NOT on our side – we went to the farm the day after a Nor’Easter hit which means that the winds were not in our favor! There were about 3 other people pumpkin picking which was great for our photos but the winds were so strong, I think we were at the farm for a total of 45 minutes, lol. All the kids had runny noses and all of our pictures have hair flying everywhere, smh. But all in all, we went, pumpkin picked & conquered.

I decided to go to Conklin Farms in Monvtille NJ and let me tell you- it was very quiet (due to weather) but it was the PERFECT size for all you mamas with little ones. There was no charge to enter and they had a cute little farm with animals, a corn maze, pumpkins (obviously) & a sunflower patch.

During the weekend they have plenty of activities at an extra charge such as hayrides- both haunted & regular, Snack Shake, and plenty of homemade goodies to take home with you. You can visit their website for more details.

All in all, it may not have been the most exciting day trip but we still made memories & we will never forget how windy it was this one year we came pumpkin picking. I am such a stickler with traditions & we have been going pumpkin picking since Max was born & I just could not go a year with out it. Check out some of the fun we had in our very short pumpkin picking experience.

This weekend on our mini getaway to Atlantic City Max was so excited to go to the boardwalk to play games & get on rides all day. We went back to our room to nap & get ready for dinner and let me tell you, I’m not are what was in the water that day at the pool but both of my kids were (excuse my French) bat shit crazy. No matter how many times we told them to stop, they just would not. I threatened max with not going to the boardwalk & finally the 3rd time I know I had to hold my ground or else I’d be a joke. Max is 6 & he has always had a strong personality, but Esme is 1 & her persistence & determination is so much more than Max’s at that age so I know I’m in for it with her. This summer has definitely been a test having both kids home constantly wanting to be entertained, each night I find myself completely drained. I am so tired of yelling & losing my temper & I know I don’t want to be this kind of parent. So here I am, again, looking for ways to better myself & my children.

I want to teach my children through discipline, not punishment & I do notice when I have the patience to discipline Max positively it always works out so much better for us both in the long run.  The more I badger him & tell him NO constantly I know he feels like we “don’t love him” or “love Esme more” because we don’t yell at her & I know that is not true but it still breaks my heart.  I am in a constant battle with disciplining but not taking away from his tenacious personality. 

Disciplining positively is obviously for the own good of my children, but also myself.  I get so embarrassed with myself when I lose it & I honestly feel like poop. Being a yeller is not in my personality at all & I know that is not the type of parent I want to be.  I don’t want my kids to look back & think “wow, Mom was a phsycopath constantly yelling at us!” I know I can be dramatic, but sheesh you get one chance to get this parenting thin right & I’m not trying to mess up, lol!

So here we are, disciplining positively. Max just turned 6 & I know it is time to give him more responsibility & hold him accountable so we will be starting to use a chore chart. Now let me tell you he is a typical boy L-A-Z-Y. So I know I am in for a power struggle but he also does well with choices, so every day he will be picking 3 chores he’d like to complete. I will be enforcing house rules, which 99% of the time he follows aside fro, jumping & using his indoor voice.  Max’s voice is constantly at a 7 where I’d like him to be a 4, lol. 

House Rules

• Indoor voice
• Keep hands & feet to yourself
• Please & Thank you’s
• Clean up after your own mess
• Don’t interrupt when someone is speaking

He also hates cleaning so that is definitely something I need to work on & make it a habit for him & Esme. For every 3 chores he completes through out the day, he will be rewarded with either cash or a treat such as ice cream after dinner.  This is step 1, he usually does pretty well with rewards so I’m hoping this goes as planned. I will be documenting the process on my Instagram, so make sure you follow! www.instagram.com/em.loren_

Consistency is key, for you and your child meaning if you are not ready to be consistent its your own fault.  You can not chose when you want to discipline your kids, it has to become a lifestyle for you as well.  Tips for Parents-

Tips for Parents

• Be Consistent & Clear
• Make Realistic & Natural Consequences
• Schedule Regular Quality Time
• Limit your reactions & think before you speak
• Discuss & start again

It’s os easy to react in the heat of the moment & yell. This is what I am working on the most & I know that alone will help tremendously.  I want teach more than yell, I want him to understand why he can’t do that and I also want to have trust and respect within our relationship. Using these tips, I want to be to know that my son will make respectful choices even when I am not around (which I’m pretty sure he does because I’ve always been told by teachers & other mom how respectful he is). Which then make she feel he only misbehaves at home as a reaction to our actions.  I’ve noticed 75 percent of the time when he does misbehave it is because we are distracted and not giving him enough attention. So I am scheduling quality time for just him & me which I am very excited about. 

Persistence is key & I know we are on the road to great things.  I will remind myself to take it one day at a time & that things do not happen over night. I promise to accept that there will still be days that are worse than others and days that are amazing and that is just life and kids are just kids. I know it can always be worse and I also know compared to some children mine are angels but I don’t want to compare my kids to others, honestly I just want to raise good apples & that I will do. 

Happy Parenting ya’ll! 

If you try any of these tips & tricks please let me know and don’t forget to follow me on instagram to follow our journey! 

xo, Alessa

We just got back from Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for the first time as a family of 4. We stayed at the Paradisus Palma Real Golf and Spa Resort which was AMAZING. We booked via Expedia, as a package (hotel & flight included) which was super easy & user friendly. Whenever we go back, we will definitely be staying there again because the service was so great. I will say off the bat, that with all the speculation going on the past few months, we had absolutely no issues. We went in a big group of 15 and every one returned safe & sound and sunburned. That should be your main concern, making sure you are applying 100 SPF every 2-3 hours especially if you burn easily. The sun in the Caribbean is just different than it is in the states- it literally burns! With that being said, lets talk about fun!

Upon check-in, we were immediately created with our beverage of choice, 2 Presidentes please! Lord knows we needed those beers after a 3 and a half hour flight and Esme crying for 3 of those hours- talk about frustration. We got to the hotel by 11am but check-in wasn’t until 3pm, so we were given our bracelets & a hospitality room to change into our bathing suits & start having fun! Darwin, our personal concierge met us and gave us a tour of the hotel and led us straight to the buffet. Darwin was a gem the whole vacation; he made dinner reservations for us, reserved cabanas early in the morning for us, and even got us complimentary coupons for the hotel & gift shop!

The hotel was equipped with an all you can eat buffet available for all meals as well as a wide variety of a la carte restaurants. The cuisine options range from Mediterranean to Asian and even Italian. Room service is also available 24 hours a day, with only a $5 delivery charge.

We headed to straight to the swim up pool bar after lunch and Max was ready to jump in. Honestly, it was so humid and hot we were all ready to jump in. The pool is huge and features hydromassage areas, a kid’s pool as well as an adult only pool for Royal Service guests. They started playing music and we were already enjoying our vacation.

The next few days were spent lounging by the pool, eating, drinking & having fun until the rest of our family arrived. My mom even surprised us on Saturday.. her FOMO was real, LOL! They had plenty of excursions to offer, and some of the group decided to go ATV riding, which everyone loved. It took about 45 minutes to get to their destination and then they were off. They rode the ATVs to a farm where they speak about coffee, tobacco, rum & chocolate and then you can go for a midday swim in the crystal clear spring water cave! Even Max jumped in! Once you start riding again, you are off to Macao Beach- one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen. Clear waters, no seaweed or waves! The whole excursion from start to finish was about 7 hours, a long day but well worth it, and the cost was only $45 per person. Make sure to bring cash with you, if you are looking to shop while at the farm- they had plenty of naturally derived stuff as well as bracelets & necklaces that many of the children from the village make on their own to sell to tourists. It’s so terribly sad how some of these people live & how young the children start helping out. It was a real eye opener for Max to see how some people live.

We ended the vacation with a BANG, the last night show before we left was MICHAEL JACKSON! If you know my son Max, you know the obsession was real. He could not believe the REAL Michael Jackson was performing on stage and he had front row seats. When all was said & done he asked me why I lied & told him Michael Jackson was in heaven when he was clearly right in front of him. I didn’t have the heart to tell the kid he was just an impersonator. Bad mom or Good mom????

To say the least we were very sad to come home, even after 7 days. Max wishes to go back in just a few weeks (lol, notttt!) As much as I’d love to our bank account won’t allow it, even though for a family of 4 the all inclusive price was not bad at all. The most expensive part of our package was our flight because we went during high season (almost $800 per person, ouch!)

Paradisus Palma Real, thank you for the memories we were able to create. We hope to be back one day soon.

Until next time,

Alessa