This weekend on our mini getaway to Atlantic City Max was so excited to go to the boardwalk to play games & get on rides all day. We went back to our room to nap & get ready for dinner and let me tell you, I’m not are what was in the water that day at the pool but both of my kids were (excuse my French) bat shit crazy. No matter how many times we told them to stop, they just would not. I threatened max with not going to the boardwalk & finally the 3rd time I know I had to hold my ground or else I’d be a joke. Max is 6 & he has always had a strong personality, but Esme is 1 & her persistence & determination is so much more than Max’s at that age so I know I’m in for it with her. This summer has definitely been a test having both kids home constantly wanting to be entertained, each night I find myself completely drained. I am so tired of yelling & losing my temper & I know I don’t want to be this kind of parent. So here I am, again, looking for ways to better myself & my children.
I want to teach my children through discipline, not punishment & I do notice when I have the patience to discipline Max positively it always works out so much better for us both in the long run. The more I badger him & tell him NO constantly I know he feels like we “don’t love him” or “love Esme more” because we don’t yell at her & I know that is not true but it still breaks my heart. I am in a constant battle with disciplining but not taking away from his tenacious personality.
Disciplining positively is obviously for the own good of my children, but also myself. I get so embarrassed with myself when I lose it & I honestly feel like poop. Being a yeller is not in my personality at all & I know that is not the type of parent I want to be. I don’t want my kids to look back & think “wow, Mom was a phsycopath constantly yelling at us!” I know I can be dramatic, but sheesh you get one chance to get this parenting thin right & I’m not trying to mess up, lol!
So here we are, disciplining positively. Max just turned 6 & I know it is time to give him more responsibility & hold him accountable so we will be starting to use a chore chart. Now let me tell you he is a typical boy L-A-Z-Y. So I know I am in for a power struggle but he also does well with choices, so every day he will be picking 3 chores he’d like to complete. I will be enforcing house rules, which 99% of the time he follows aside fro, jumping & using his indoor voice. Max’s voice is constantly at a 7 where I’d like him to be a 4, lol.
- Indoor voice
- Keep hands & feet to yourself
- Please & Thank you’s
- Clean up after your own mess
- Don’t interrupt when someone is speaking
He also hates cleaning so that is definitely something I need to work on & make it a habit for him & Esme. For every 3 chores he completes through out the day, he will be rewarded with either cash or a treat such as ice cream after dinner. This is step 1, he usually does pretty well with rewards so I’m hoping this goes as planned. I will be documenting the process on my Instagram, so make sure you follow! www.instagram.com/em.loren_
Consistency is key, for you and your child meaning if you are not ready to be consistent its your own fault. You can not chose when you want to discipline your kids, it has to become a lifestyle for you as well. Tips for Parents-
Tips for Parents
- Be Consistent & Clear
- Make Realistic & Natural Consequences
- Schedule Regular Quality Time
- Limit your reactions & think before you speak
- Discuss & start again
It’s os easy to react in the heat of the moment & yell. This is what I am working on the most & I know that alone will help tremendously. I want teach more than yell, I want him to understand why he can’t do that and I also want to have trust and respect within our relationship. Using these tips, I want to be to know that my son will make respectful choices even when I am not around (which I’m pretty sure he does because I’ve always been told by teachers & other mom how respectful he is). Which then make she feel he only misbehaves at home as a reaction to our actions. I’ve noticed 75 percent of the time when he does misbehave it is because we are distracted and not giving him enough attention. So I am scheduling quality time for just him & me which I am very excited about.
Persistence is key & I know we are on the road to great things. I will remind myself to take it one day at a time & that things do not happen over night. I promise to accept that there will still be days that are worse than others and days that are amazing and that is just life and kids are just kids. I know it can always be worse and I also know compared to some children mine are angels but I don’t want to compare my kids to others, honestly I just want to raise good apples & that I will do.
Happy Parenting ya’ll!
If you try any of these tips & tricks please let me know and don’t forget to follow me on instagram to follow our journey!